I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
