My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
