This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize