I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
