is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
