Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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