Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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