Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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