I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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