Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Let's paint friendship bongs
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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