I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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