nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
