it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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