wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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