I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
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I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
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Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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