Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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