That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
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