plz talk dirty to me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
