I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
