Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
