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i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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