woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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