what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
