Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
