Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
