Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
