last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We're too hungover to prance.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
