Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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