I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
