I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
And then he peed in my hair
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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