Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My feet surprised me
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