Im at strip club and am horny
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
