My brain says no but my pants say off.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
