Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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