i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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