Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
BRING THE BAGELS
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
