got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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