Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(432): View more from Texas

TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her

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(312): View more from Illinois

My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??

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(773): View more from Illinois

he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.

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(251): View more from Alabama

I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time

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(443): View more from Maryland

There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.

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(407): View more from Florida

HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.

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(863): View more from Florida

Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?

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