My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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