when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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