I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.