so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
