Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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