1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
