the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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