Please, let me fuck your mom
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
