How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
