I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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