I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
