I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Everyone says I win the strip club
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
