They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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