bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize