i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
