Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize