Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
