I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
