Can Purell be used as lube?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
